A "case" of financial infidelity...What would you do?

One of the topics that has been on my mind lately has been one of financial healing.  There are several financial issues we need to be healed from including unhealthy money scripts from our youth, financial trauma, and recovering from financial infidelity, etc.  I did a google search on Financial Healing and the main topic that came up was indeed, financial infidelity.  This seems to be the one item that affects a lot of people, especially married couples.

Consider this...
The budget is tight due to an economic downturn, overspending, or economic hardship; and you are a spender.  Your spouse is a saver so you feel confined, restricted, and sometimes frustrated because you can't get the latest gadget, redecorate your bathroom, or go out to eat more often.  Instead of operating within your parameters, understanding your financial situation, and living within your means, because that's no fun, you figure out ways to "feed the beast" and buy things you cannot afford.

...Enter "my own" credit card.

You and your spouse have credit card debt but your accounts are in good standing.  Without your spouse's knowledge you sign up for a credit card with a small balance.  It's only a small balance, maybe $500 or so; besides, my spouse will never find out, I've got this all under control.  I'll get the mail before my spouse or have the bills mailed to the office.  This will be great, I'll be able to get what I want, and there won't "appear" to be any extra expenses that affect our budget.  Life will be smooth sailing!  After all, I'm making minimum payments on my account and keeping it in good standing so I should be good right?  It's only a "little indiscretion."

Then something incredible happens, or so you think!  You get a notice in the mail asking if you want a balance increase.  The balance increases from $500 to $1000.  "Excellent! I was almost at the end of my limit, I'll take the increase", and little by little you overspend more on items you may not need,  not using, or just irresponsibly spending out of control.  You're spending out of control because there is no control.

This pattern happens over and over, and before too long, you are $25,000 in debt, and it's becoming more and more difficult to make even the minimum payments.

Does this sound like some of you?  The details may be a little different.  Are you keeping your spending in check?

...A few months ago your spouse has started getting a little suspicious and asking you questions about where you're getting new items and why you're able to eat out so much.  Before you were able to cover them up with a quick comment or no response at all.  Now, your spouse is getting a little more direct and expecting answers.  You start losing control of your "little indiscretion" and you begin to feel guilty, not because of what you're doing but that you may get caught.  What should this person do?

Let us know if this applies to you or you have a solution for the person that may be in this situation.

Solutions will come out in the next posts

Thanks,
Greg and Jody Roche